Hope to post at least weekly.

I probably need to commit for myself...to post at least weekly.
Love the idea of blogging, but it's much like exercise....if you skip a week...it's easy to lose a month. I love reading what others are up to, so I will try to post just to keep in touch.

Tests are done. Got the letter today telling me I passed the first test...all of it...all four parts!
That is testimony to God and this fellowship. Didn't think I had a chance to pass. Sponsor suggested putting out a prayer request. Followed direction and of course studied (about 8 hours a day for 3 weeks...most of that time was spent on the math component). My mind drifted to the story of David and Goliath. This test seemed a giant for me. Puny little me...But God is faithful and I was only asked to do my part and show up. Thank you God. Studying used to be binge time...a book always went with a box or a bag...so it's to God's glory to have done this abstinently on Greysheet! That is God's other victory.

Anniversary number 24; 3.17.09

I wrote a big long post....deleted it.
What I really want to do is just share God's gift of the next anniversary.
Tomorrow will be 24 years in the AA fellowship without a break.
Without a slip.
Working the steps.
Today gratitude is abundant.
I was imperfect in my reactions to life...but grateful for the chance to make things right.
Lots of work to be done still....
Just need to stay in this 24 hours.
Praying God's hand on each one of you.
Kathy
idenmw

Life Goes On...

Life goes on...
Yes it does. It might seem selfish, but life does go on.
I want to share my journey of the last few weeks.
Inspired to do something that has been in my soul since I was 12...
I finally walked through the fear, overcame the procrastination and took some action...
Applied for Certification, Signed up for two huge tests, had all transcripts sent where they needed to go, studied 8 hours a day for three weeks, did my 12 step daily discipliles, showed up for the first set of tests, passed them, took the Second set of tests and now await those scores. There are more steps to take. My job now? To continue to ask for help/direction and follow those directions. God has a plan and I need to suit up, show up and willing to receive my instructions - they are given to me in small incriments... just one days worth of instruction/direction at a time. I don't know exactly what God has in store, but I do know that it is good, that it includes Abstinence, Sobriety Service and Love, and that through God, I can do all things. I don't need to know more. My Spiritual Awakening was not of the "white light" variety, it has been instead of the educational variety, slow...over time...and God knows what is best for me. Each step I take to get closer to Him, He takes one huge leaping step to meet me. I feel somehow small today. Small in a good protected and cared for way. At fifty, I am finding my God and my a new path, a new direction, or maybe just the continuation of the path that fear and untreated alcoholism kept me from taking. No matter, I show up, I trust, I ask, I seek, and idenmw nmw nmw.

No longer MIA

It's been weeks since I have blogged.
For no other reason than my plate go so full that something had to go, last in first out?
Not sure if that's it.
I guess since I didn't get real proficient in this it was easier to slide out.
An incident in my world, the suicide of a new friend, has had an impact.
Made me get to a meeting that I don't get to on Sunday.
Spurred me to ask for the phone number of the two muscateers from that meeting.
Inspired a deeper sense of love and brotherhood/sisterhood with those around me this morning.
Indeed, the 12 step folks are my family.
They are of my "new blood".
Sending my prayers up for Deena's soul, Deena's family and all who have been touched.
I will get off this computer now and use those two numbers....
I will also call Martha and tell her I love her and missed her this morning.
God, the Great Economist, wastes nothing.
Deena did not die in vain.
Many are making choices today, influenced by the choice she made on Friday.
God be with us all.
Don't know why, but I want to say I'm sorry to God, like you do when someone's mom dies of cancer. Like, I'm sorry God, that your Deena did that. Thank you God for inspiring me and nudging me to be inviting and loving to Deena. Always pulling up a chair and with that big Italian Wide Open Love, tell her I wanted her to sit with me and then engage her in talk. Her smile betrayed her pain. I didn't know it was there, but I know God loved her through many people. He let me be outside of myself for snippet of time, long enough to connect and touch her.